So I was driving to work today. In the rain. Getting cut off 3 times. By the same douchenozzle (thanks to Life on a Hanger for that clutch gem of an adjective noun). I also had just been privy to the "Grind My Gears" episode of Family Guy. So, in my infinite wisdom, I decided that my blog needed a reoccurring theme of things that "Grind my Gears". So, welcome to the first episode of For the Love of . . . . .
1. For the Love of blinker fluid - people in Dallas think that a blinker is a signal for "I'm going to squeeze into this lane because I told you I was doing it, not because there is room for my Violet colored VWAss Bug." First off, bugaboo, you're a man . . . .driving a Beetle. . . . .that's violet . Secondly, you're a man. Minus 1 Man-card for you, sir. ThankYouVeryMuch. For the Love of blinker fluid.
Burn in H-E-double-hockey-sticks!
2. For the Love of video game envy - I am pretty addicted to this game Modern Warfare 2 for XBox (this is my stand-up-and-admit-I-have-a-problem portion of the show). I'm a nerd like that when it comes to this video game. Like Louis Skolnick nerdy.
(Damn this blog and my admissions of nerdery)
Anyways, I really get infuriated when I get killed online at this game only to hear a shrill, prepubescent 12 year-old voice telling me how much he's whoopin' my arse. Of course, I'm also envious. Envious that this little shit-streak just shot me in the face and is beating me at this game. Thanks, 1980. Thanks for birthing me before video games were a main-stay in households across America. For the Love of video game envy.
3. For the Love of Beggin' Strips - Ok, here's where I have to rag on myself. Why? Because self deprecation is what keeps my ego in check. Kind of like being in the band in high school. I wasn't, but I heard.
So, my new dog has a bit of separation anxiety. She doesn't like her crate. Whines like a little bia-tcha-cha when I put her in there. I am sure my neighbors love. . . .love. . . love. . . . . . .love.love.love.love.love.love me. I've been trying to figure out ways to break her of it, but I'm not as Cesar Milan as I thought I was. She learned to shake in under 10 minutes the other night, but I can't break the whining. Maybe I should break her off some Beggin' Strips . . . anyone have any other suggestions? For the Love of Beggin' Strips
This is me if I was not Caucasian and had come up
with a really cool superhero name like The Dog Whisperer
mr. overly competitive
